My Worst Fears............

This year has been on of those that can be recorded as "My Worst Fears" Over the past months things have happened that would definitely be ones I was fearful of. Now that I am through them and survived, they are no longer fears but victories that I made it through.
1. I was a afraid that Dave would lose his position of 10 years. Well he did, he was fired and with that there was a downward spiral of other fears. He is working part time and we are hoping for a full time job soon.
2. We would lose our house. We did but on our terms. We did a short sale and though it was tough, we still had a place to live and that is all that matters. Still hard to look at the other house but I do and the pain is getting easier to handle. Still working on getting settled at home.
3. Loss of medical insurance is the scariest thing. With multiple health issues stemming from Lupus, having no insurance is terrifying. Well with medicare and medicare advantage plans, there is some coverage and trusting God that situation will be remedied soon.
4. Loss of one of our dogs. We lost Belle in March. We got her when we got the house and losing her along with the house was beyond painful. I am really not over that but each day gets easier.
5.Epidural shots happened before the year began to deal with nerve issues in my legs. I was always terrified of the thought of an epidural but hey guess what, I survived.
6. Another fear was something catastrophic happening to Jodi. Well we have made it through 2 seizure episodes, multiple doctor visits, an ER visit and and EEG. I pray for her safety and am trusting to protect her.
7. My biggest fear came to life in August and it took me days to get past it. I did and now it isn't has scary. Still serious but scary is gone.

Life is full of bad and hard times. Loss is part of the cycle but looking back, it was hard but I survived. I like to think that God just carried me through. It has left me with a few war wounds but thank God I survived.

2011 needs to be a fresh start and calmer. It is time to bring order back into my world and share with other all the great ways God saw me through
Happy New Year to everyone and remember fears can be overcome, all you have to do is trust that God will see you through. I just have to keep reminding myself of that God will see you through and look back on how He did just that

Merry Christmas

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and God's blessing for a marvelous New Year. Will post some fun pictures very soon.

Worth watching

Patterns for Sale

If you love using your CINCH or Zutter Bind It All, then here are 2 fun holiday books just for you. These are my original creations and I will add a new pattern or two each week.
Patterns will be on white cardstock with instructions.
Cost is $5 which includes postage.
Email me if you wish to purchase a pattern to either of these fun books.
(NOTE: these are patterns and instructions only)

Turkey is 12 x 12 approx. Each feather is an individual page.


Snowman opens up in two areas. He is 12 inches high and is a pure delight.


Thanks for looking.

Thanksgiving and Sorrow

Those are 2 words that probably don't go well together. During this month of Thanksgiving, I have so many things to be thankful for but my heart is so full of sorrow and they seem to conflict.

I am thankful that I am home and I have a roof over my head. Best yet I am living with my mom and sister so that is awesome. But sorrow comes in going past my old house and the loss hurts so much. The house is now a rental and today I saw a fall wreath on the front screen door. It really made me sad, that was my door and that is where my wreath belonged. Yikes that really stings but I am hoping that my heart will get past it. I know you are saying "don't drive by the house" well that is easier said then done and if it was you, you would drive by too.

I lost one of my dogs in March and now my Emma is hurt. Vet appointment tomorrow and I really need prayers for her and for me. Animal Emergency visit this weekend shows that the tendons in her knee have snapped. She is 13 and some major decisions are going to need to be made. I can't bear to lose her right now, but will do what is best for her. Thankful for an awesome vet.

Very thankful for knowledge and that God brought just the info back to my mind when needed. Almost losing Jodi on Thursday is still radiating throughout our family. So thankful that she is sitting here next to me, listening to the radio and just very content.

This was supposed to be a weekend of getting away and it did not happen. My friends are the best in the world and have been a constant source of support the past few days, actually everyday.

Since I was hoping for a quiet few days, I was hoping to create items for Teresa Collins to apply for her design team, participate in an online crop for www.ohmycrafts.com but both got put on the back burner and I opted to do nothing today other than answer emails and get caught up. My mind just needed the rest, no pressure.

I need to get back to creating, I need to focus on being thankful and trusting God to heal the hurt and anxious feelings. I need to lean on my friends and just realize that this past year is only a season in my life and I will be able to look back soon enough and see how many great ways God worked in my life.

So for today - I will focus on the things to be thankful for and there are many. I will not worry about making deadlines for online contests or trying to be on a Design Team and focus on one of my favorite verses Psalm 46:10 Be Still and Know that I am God. Really that is all that matters.

Milestones

Well today is the day to start anew.
I actually drove past the old house without crying today. It still hurts my heart but no tears today. Baby steps will get me through this.

I had an incredible time a couple weeks ago at Inspiration Unlimited, it was amazing and being with my friends only made it better. I will share on my blog soon.

I am going to The Crop for the Cure on Saturday and then Saturday night to church to hear Dave Drevecky speak. The theme is Does God allow suffering.

Going to work on my craft space this weekend, finish up the projects from IU and hey work on being me again.

I had to allow myself time to mourn, now it is time to go on being me.

Going to create and have fun, cause that is what I do best

Loss and the cruelty of fate..........

Been a hard year, one that brings me to tears alot.
October 5,2009 aside from being the 5th year mark of losing my sister in law, I overheard my husband talking to his brother and commenting on something from work that I was sure was going to cost him his job.
October 7, 2009 Dave was sent home on paid leave while the future of his job was to be decided.
October 12, 2009 Dave was fired - our whole life was turned upside down. The future of our home, medical insurance and financial well being was up in the air and to say that I was scared would be an understatement.

Fortunately COBRA was available but Dave needed to find another job and in this economy, it has become a tough challenge.

November 22, 2009 My mom's significant other dies suddenly and she needs us to move in with her and Jodi. She didn't want to be alone. So the process begins.

December, 2009 we put our house up for sale as a short sale.
Now on top of dealing with the day to day issues of Lupus, Neuropathy and Vasculitis, I need to pack up a 3 bedroom house, deal with realtors and get ready to condense my life into 2 bedrooms at mom's.
Storage units are rented and the work begins.

March, 2010 - Belle starts showing signs of struggling and on March 19th she is diagnosed with bone cancer.
March 24th - we lost her. Belle was our first dog. We got her as a puppy when we bought the house in 1998 and to lose her at this point was more than my heart could handle.

May 4th - we move into mom's house but there is still so much to do at our house.

The move continues, Dave works 2 part time jobs that don't seem to move to full time security with health insurance to cover my medical needs.

We owe $199,000 on the house and an offer comes in for $90,000. Realtor says we need to take it and the process begins to short sell our house.

The future of what Bank of America will do is still uncertain but on October 5, 2010 we signed escrow papers and on October 7, 2010 the house was no longer ours.

One year later, things are still in upheaval and my heart is sad.
The investor who bought our house had contractors there first thing Friday morning and my heart is so broken, losing insurance, losing Belle and losing the house have taken a toll on me and the tears just flow.

I am so grateful for what I have, I am home with with mom and Jodi, that is most important. Daisy and Emma have adapted well and the cats love their 2 bedrooms to play in.

Dave is working for Michaels, hoping for full time work with benefits. He applies for jobs continually.

God knows our needs, and He knows my hurt. I know He has me in His hands and is protecting me from alot of things. Loss has defined the last 12 months and I pray that we get a reprieve soon, as I really can't handle any more.

We take Emma to the vet on the 12th, concerned that the outcome will not be good as she is 13 and is having issues. I am braced the worst but praying for the best.

I will pick up the pieces and make the best of things. I didn't lose my home, my home is here. I am grateful for all I have and that I am not homeless. Grief is a tricky thing, it is something that you have to work through and trust God to guide you through.

Dates are just points in time, I just found it ironic that it began last year on October 5th and a year later I am still feeling the ripple effect.

Home Sweet Home ............ working on it

Well I did it, took a 3 bedroom house and condensed it into 2 bedrooms to make a bedroom, family room, craft room. We have our computer in the downstairs office, so that helped. Combined my kitchen stuff with mom's so basically everything found a home or is being donated or sold. This is not all with way done but close. Thought I would share how I put it all together.

Check this out.

Check out this awesome book my secret sister sent me. It is unbelievable. I hope she will share how to make some more of them. Thank you SS I love, love, love, love it.

Blessed by RAK's

I have such awesome friends. This has been another good mail week.

Veronica sent me this delicious ribbon (did I ever mention that I love ribbon) and flowers. It was a very special treat.

Then my former secret sister Maria A sent these wonderful Disney embellishments.

See you both next week. Thanks for the goodies, I love them

I am so blessed...........

The past couple of weeks have been hard. No one could have prepared me for the emotional toll of losing our house. It will close in about 2 weeks and mom and I have done 90% of the work. It has been frustrating at best but we have the house completely empty and some friends are helping mom and I on Monday to finish it up. I need to be done with this cause each time I go in there it is getting harder and harder.
So that being said, God had a plan and my friends from all over have blessed me beyond measure. On the days that were particulary hard, I would come home to some great treats.

My friend Florence sent me a card along with some fun ribbon - I love it. Want to get some more of it cause it is way too cool Thanks Florence see ya soon.

My friend Carol is always so thoughtful. She sent lots of bling - she is trying to bring out the Diva in me. Carol I love it all - thank you



Then there was one day when - wow you can see on the bed - lots of packages with lots of love

A Teresa Collins Stampmaker - oh wow this is going to be so much fun - I haven't had time to play yet but I will. I bought this for myself - I think I deserve it LOL. oops the Diva popped out.



Then a complete set of all the Creative Escape kits for 2010. It helps to have friends who were looking out for me. Thank you Carol helping secure this for me. Can't wait to start playing


Oh then there was the paint can - see below for more info. Thanks Sandy.


Then this wonderful box of goodies from my friend Melannie. Melannie this blessed my whole family and we loved everything. Thank you so much. Melannie's family owns Marra Brothers in Morgan Hill, CA. You all need to try their awesome products.



Then Thursday this delightful notebook with ribbon came from Raquel. I loved it all and yep F is for Fun. Thanks Raquel - can't wait to meet you.


So as you can see, blessings abound even when you are losing a house. My home is with Dave and my mom and Jodi. Our furbabies complete the package. All I know that I am rich in family and friendships and that is all that matters.
Have a great week

Paint Can Swap

I am so blessed to do fun swaps with some new friends who are going to Inspiration Unlimited. Here is a paint can I received from Sandy Bobo - it is so much fun.
Here is the paint can and box full of goodies. Box was wrapped but had to open it - oh darn. I really do love this - all of it.

Here is the box full of goodies - oh how much fun is this? I love everything lots of good stuff. I love the cookbook - sew cute .



Here is what was in the can - lots and lots of goodies from ribbon to new cooking tools. So much fun and already has its place in the kitchen. Since we moved in with my mom, we are combining all of our stuff, so it was fun to have some new things to add to the kitchen



So I pulled out the potato peeler and my mom stated that it now belonged to her. She has him standing on the kitchen counter ready to give her a hand when potatos need to be peeled. I fondly referred to him as the Potato Minion. Hee hee hee


Sandy thank you for an awesome can and you will see yours soon.

My Awesome Secret Sister

I had alot of fun going through all my goodies today. White Chocolate covered gummi bears are going to be a treat to eat. I love all the doodle work and the great things she made. The Burden Bear is the best and well worth sharing. She is so awesome about sending me encouraging thoughts and making my day.
Thanks SS, you are awesome

My buddy Janet really blesses the socks off of me. This was the latest round of FRIENDSHIP fun that she sent my way. Thank you Janet, I love it all.

The Knot's Prayer

My Secret Sister is AWESOME!!!

Thank you to my awesome Secret Sister. I love everything.



This is the banner she made that I LOVE. This side I can see when I wake up.



This is the side that I see when I am working at my craft desk. Thanks SS I love it and it is so much fun






Secret Sis you are the best.

Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit’s code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
10. Etc.

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1.. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control and
10. Forgiveness

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.(Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.


- GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.

12 Things I Believe..........

12 Things I Believe

1. God is in control and He will see us through no matter what.

2. There is nothing better than Disney magic!!!

3. Dog kisses are the best.

4. There is nothing more soothing than a cat laying on you purring.

5. Scrapbooking is my way of reliving some of life's best moments.

6. A bad day scrapbooking is still better than a good day doing housework.

7. It is important to stop and take 3 deep breaths.

8. Family is what it is all about.

9. Never underestimate the power of a hug.

10. Be proud of who you are and what you have.

11. It is important to keep in contact with friends and family. Have no regrets!

12. Celebrate every holiday or occasion like it is your last.

An awesome hostess gift

Check out this absolutely beautiful bracelet made my Leslie G. She sent it to me as a hostess thank you gift and I absolutely love it. Leslie thank you so much, it truly blessed my day.

Everyone needs 4 days with their girlfriends

There is nothing better than spending 4 days and 3 nights with your best friends. Unfortunately Colleen was missing :(.
Anyhow, we all needed a break and we had one. I highly recommend a girlfriend scrap retreat every 30 days ( I wish)



This is me set up in the dining room of the condo. You wouldn't believe how we rearranged furniture LOL. I actually like this picture.


Bev was behind me but always in ear shot of any funny thing to be said. You have to ask her about the inner kitty.


Julie and Saren are around the corner but not too far. Julie is showing off her monkey she cut with Create a Critter.


Treion rounded out the circle and yes that is the dining room table by the couch.


Bev playing with her Cricut


Saren working on Christmas cards - yes you heard me correctly.


Julie was working on projects


Bev is chatting with Treion


Treion is listening intently


Julie is chatting away too. Lots of talking, crying, laughing and sharing it really was a an awesome few days

This is what I worked on when I wasn't swearing at my Silhouette. I finished (hanging head in shame) my album from CKU Provo 2008. It was taught by Ali Edwards and called Evolution

I then finished my layouts for a class called Bakers Dozen through Big Picture Scrapbooking.













Lots of work, lots of fun and lots of love, we need to do it again.