Monday, October 11, 2010

Loss and the cruelty of fate..........

Been a hard year, one that brings me to tears alot.
October 5,2009 aside from being the 5th year mark of losing my sister in law, I overheard my husband talking to his brother and commenting on something from work that I was sure was going to cost him his job.
October 7, 2009 Dave was sent home on paid leave while the future of his job was to be decided.
October 12, 2009 Dave was fired - our whole life was turned upside down. The future of our home, medical insurance and financial well being was up in the air and to say that I was scared would be an understatement.

Fortunately COBRA was available but Dave needed to find another job and in this economy, it has become a tough challenge.

November 22, 2009 My mom's significant other dies suddenly and she needs us to move in with her and Jodi. She didn't want to be alone. So the process begins.

December, 2009 we put our house up for sale as a short sale.
Now on top of dealing with the day to day issues of Lupus, Neuropathy and Vasculitis, I need to pack up a 3 bedroom house, deal with realtors and get ready to condense my life into 2 bedrooms at mom's.
Storage units are rented and the work begins.

March, 2010 - Belle starts showing signs of struggling and on March 19th she is diagnosed with bone cancer.
March 24th - we lost her. Belle was our first dog. We got her as a puppy when we bought the house in 1998 and to lose her at this point was more than my heart could handle.

May 4th - we move into mom's house but there is still so much to do at our house.

The move continues, Dave works 2 part time jobs that don't seem to move to full time security with health insurance to cover my medical needs.

We owe $199,000 on the house and an offer comes in for $90,000. Realtor says we need to take it and the process begins to short sell our house.

The future of what Bank of America will do is still uncertain but on October 5, 2010 we signed escrow papers and on October 7, 2010 the house was no longer ours.

One year later, things are still in upheaval and my heart is sad.
The investor who bought our house had contractors there first thing Friday morning and my heart is so broken, losing insurance, losing Belle and losing the house have taken a toll on me and the tears just flow.

I am so grateful for what I have, I am home with with mom and Jodi, that is most important. Daisy and Emma have adapted well and the cats love their 2 bedrooms to play in.

Dave is working for Michaels, hoping for full time work with benefits. He applies for jobs continually.

God knows our needs, and He knows my hurt. I know He has me in His hands and is protecting me from alot of things. Loss has defined the last 12 months and I pray that we get a reprieve soon, as I really can't handle any more.

We take Emma to the vet on the 12th, concerned that the outcome will not be good as she is 13 and is having issues. I am braced the worst but praying for the best.

I will pick up the pieces and make the best of things. I didn't lose my home, my home is here. I am grateful for all I have and that I am not homeless. Grief is a tricky thing, it is something that you have to work through and trust God to guide you through.

Dates are just points in time, I just found it ironic that it began last year on October 5th and a year later I am still feeling the ripple effect.


Leslie G. said...

Remember God only gives you as much as you and He can handle...that and things happen for a reason -- you may not see it now, but looking back, I can see His mercy in everything.
Praying for peace for you and yours.

Faye's Crafti Corner said...

Thank you Leslie, been a tough few weeks, but I know we are where we are supposed to be. God will handle the rest, just need to remember that.