Monday, November 8, 2010

Thanksgiving and Sorrow

Those are 2 words that probably don't go well together. During this month of Thanksgiving, I have so many things to be thankful for but my heart is so full of sorrow and they seem to conflict.

I am thankful that I am home and I have a roof over my head. Best yet I am living with my mom and sister so that is awesome. But sorrow comes in going past my old house and the loss hurts so much. The house is now a rental and today I saw a fall wreath on the front screen door. It really made me sad, that was my door and that is where my wreath belonged. Yikes that really stings but I am hoping that my heart will get past it. I know you are saying "don't drive by the house" well that is easier said then done and if it was you, you would drive by too.

I lost one of my dogs in March and now my Emma is hurt. Vet appointment tomorrow and I really need prayers for her and for me. Animal Emergency visit this weekend shows that the tendons in her knee have snapped. She is 13 and some major decisions are going to need to be made. I can't bear to lose her right now, but will do what is best for her. Thankful for an awesome vet.

Very thankful for knowledge and that God brought just the info back to my mind when needed. Almost losing Jodi on Thursday is still radiating throughout our family. So thankful that she is sitting here next to me, listening to the radio and just very content.

This was supposed to be a weekend of getting away and it did not happen. My friends are the best in the world and have been a constant source of support the past few days, actually everyday.

Since I was hoping for a quiet few days, I was hoping to create items for Teresa Collins to apply for her design team, participate in an online crop for but both got put on the back burner and I opted to do nothing today other than answer emails and get caught up. My mind just needed the rest, no pressure.

I need to get back to creating, I need to focus on being thankful and trusting God to heal the hurt and anxious feelings. I need to lean on my friends and just realize that this past year is only a season in my life and I will be able to look back soon enough and see how many great ways God worked in my life.

So for today - I will focus on the things to be thankful for and there are many. I will not worry about making deadlines for online contests or trying to be on a Design Team and focus on one of my favorite verses Psalm 46:10 Be Still and Know that I am God. Really that is all that matters.

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