Sunday, October 5, 2008

They say it will eventually get easier........

They say that time heals, but time hasn't at this point. Over 20 years ago, we came into each others life. I was your boss but soon became a friend. We had alot in common and the bond was formed. Taco Bell, Diet Pepsi and Craftmart filled our days with fun. I still make bows the same way that we were taught. I think of you everytime I make one.

It was unbelievable when I saw what an amazing husband you had, I half joked when I asked if Don had a twin and to my surprise he did. Identical to boot. You brought Dave into my life but that meant I had to leave California for Washington. Many miles were put between us. Saying goodbye to you and Babbas was really the hardest thing I have ever done. Michael held my heart in his little hand. We were always together, our lives were very intermingled.

It was a no brainer that you were my maid of honor. Can you believe that it will be 17 years on the 19th. We had a bond then. We were married to identical twins and they are more identical then the 2 of them want to admit.

For some reason going from best friends to sister in laws forged a gap in our relationship that kept us apart for way too many years.

In 2003, you lost your dad and your life was shook to the core. We had some really great talks after that and for that I am so thankful. 2004 hit and we lost Dad and Mom. We needed to be there to support our husbands but also each other. With Maria we did our best to forge through the losses and take care of our guys. While there you and I had some great conversations and I began to remember all the great times we had.

I remember getting the call from Don that Sunday night saying you were going to have an emergency appendectomy. We assumed a simple operation and you would be home in a few days. I called you Monday morning and the last thing I said to you after another great conversation was that "I love you"

Last night in church, tears rolled down my cheeks as I remembered that 10/4/04, was the last time I talked to you. The call from Maria on the morning of 10/5 was more then I could bare. I know you are in Heaven and so happy but down here my heart still cries out in sadness that we lost you. There is no good reason for the loss that I can see. My heart is sad for 2 boys who so loved their mother and I know you loved them too. Mike and Matt are fine young men, there have a been a few bumps in the road for them, but things are settling down.

Maybe writing you a letter is a bit ridiculous, but I think I just needed to do it this way. We had a great friendship and we were family. I can hardly wait to see you in Heaven.

I think too often we let things get in the way of our very important relationships. We don't talk and we lose valuable time. Once you are gone, you are gone. October 5th is a tough day for me, but I know you are happy and really that is all that matters. There will be tears today for you. I wish I was close enough to go lay flowers on your grave but I can't.

So my dear friend / sister Cheryl, my heart is with you and my prayers are with your boys as they go through life. I will try harder to be a more involved with their lives. I want to tell them stories about us, but they are at that age where I am not sure they will listen, guess I should try harder. Dave and I spent a whole day with them in March and it really was one of the best days for me.

I hope that anyone reading this note will realize that no one is guaranteed a tomorrow so we need to look toward the Lord for His eternal promises of everlasting life in Heaven if we just accept that Jesus died for our sins and we confess them to Him. Also, don't go long without talking to the people you care for, make sure they know that they matter to you. I guess at some point it will get easier. As for today, the pain is still there.

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